It was inevitable.
Donald Trump, mocked by many in his own party as a “clown,” has scheduled a meeting next week with the most famous clown of all: Ronald McDonald.
The timing is important for the Trump campaign that wants to put to rest the notion that their candidate is a joke, according to Trump spokesperson Giddy Baffoon.
“I just got off the phone with Mayor McCheese who will be hosting the event,” Baffoon announced to a cadre of reporters in New York City. “He is thrilled that these two great American icons will be able to put their heads together and have a serious discussion about the issues that Americans care about. Like cheese.”
Baffoon noted that Trump and McDonald have more in common than most people think. “The hair, of course. Both have heads of hair that draw a lot of attention. And then there’s the ‘ass’ issue. Some people feel that my candidate is the biggest ass clown in America, while many believe that Mr. McDonald, a clown, represents a fast-food chain whose food tastes like ass. It’s a good jumping off point.”
Speculation that McDonald might want to join a Trump-led Presidential ticket was quickly shot down by Baffoon. “Listen, the idea that Mr Trump is even thinking about a running mate now is so premature. It’s putting the horse meat way before the cart.”
Although McDonald’s political views are shrouded in mystery and Special Sauce, there is some common ground the two men share:
- Trump enjoys vilifying Mexicans by calling them “criminals and rapists.” McDonald works for a company that abuses Mexicans.
- McDonald enjoys the taste of delicious hamburger buns. Trump enjoys fondling his wife Melania’s delicious buns.
- Trump ‘s net worth approaches 10 billion dollars. McDonalds has served well over 10 billion Big Macs.
News of the Clown-Clown tete-a-tete spread quickly. Senator Lindsay Graham (Gay-SC) called the upcoming event “a spectacle worthy of Caligula,” and opined that it was merely “an embarrassing political stunt.” The Senator went on. “Listen, I can understand why Trump wants this meeting, but I’m baffled as to why Mr. McDonald would want to sully his own fine reputation. I’ve been to many events with Mr. McDonald and am always envious how the little boys in the crowd look up to him with such admiration. I only wish they would look at me like that.”
When reached for comment, former Governor Mike Huckabee (Fat-AR) laughed it off. “It’s silly, really. Here we are in the midst of a campaign that is addressing the importance of God in our lives, the teaching of creationism in our schools and the rebutting of global warming ‘science,’ and Donald Trump wants to meet with a man wearing a clown suit? Ridiculous.”
Reporter: It should be noted that calls to Governor Chris Christie (Fatter-NJ) were not returned because the Governor was too busy shoving fries and Double Cheeseburgers into his piehole.